Is Maggie Thatcher a modern-day Beatrice?

That’s not a question that really needs a serious answer. Not for me, anyway, being a militant left-winger and fully paid-up member of the Labour Party. But strangely enough, whilst searching for blog-inspiration this morning, I stumbled across a website called Dante’s Inferno Online. This website has (quite cleverly) used Dante’s criteria found within the Comedy to categorise various modern-day people according to how “evil” they are, assigning various circles of Hell to their misdeeds.

First and foremost, it’s important to know that this page is quite politically biased (hence Maggie being in Heaven, and the fact that Jane Fonda and both Hillary and Bill Clinton occupy more inner-circles of the Inferno than do Bin Laden, Gaddaffi, and Stalin). But the premise of it is really fun and got me thinking: if Dante were to rewrite the Comedy today, who would he use as examples of the sins for each circle of Hell?

I came up with my own little list… Obviously it’s still rather biased, because it’s based entirely on my own opinions, but hey, who cares?! At least I get the chance to change the fact that I ended up in the same level of Hell as Hitler…

*+*+ Sarah’s Inferno +*+*

LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA VOI CH’ENTRATE

First Circle: Limbo

Second Circle: Lust

Ashton Kutcher
Wayne Rooney

Third Circle: Gluttony

Henry VIII
King Charles the Fat
President William Taft

Fourth Circle: Avarice

Fred Goodwin

Fifth Circle: Anger

Bjork
Diana Ross
Liam Gallagher
Russell Crowe
Naomi Campbell

Sixth Circle: Heresy

Thomas Cranmer
Joan of Arc
Galileo Galelei
Religious Extremists

Seventh Circle: Violence

  • Outer Circle – violence against people and property

Chris Brown
Mel Gibson
Gazza
Cheryl Cole (yeah, we all “forgot” about that when she became a “national treasure” didn’t we?)
Eminem
Naomi Campbell

  • Middle Circle – violence against self

Kurt Cobain
Ian Curtis
Ernest Hemingway
Sylvia Plath
Alan Turing
Virgina Woolf

  • Outer Circle – violence against God, nature and art

Pierre Pinoncelli (who smashed up Marcel Duchamp’s ‘Fountain’ in 2006)
Steve Backshall (who continually taunts crocodiles, snakes, etc for “entertainment” purposes, despite the sad fate of Steve Irwin whose similar taunts resulted in his death)
Probably me, for blaspheming on a daily basis.

Eighth Circle – Fraud

  • Bolgia 1 – panderers and seducers

Bill Clinton
Tiger Woods
Jude Law
Chris Tarrant
Prince Charles
JFK

  • Bolgia 2 – flatterers

Gok Wan
Lorraine Kelly

  • Bolgia 3 – those who have committed simony

 Not really the same as buying ecclesiastic privileges, but the whole cash-for-honours scandal comes close… Therefore:

Lord Levy
Lord Goldsmith

Bolgia 4 – sorcerers, astrologers, false prophets

Harry Potter
Hermione Granger
Ron Weasley
Dumbledore
Professor McGonagle
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Mystic Meg
Russell Grant
Nostradamus

  • Bolgia 5 – corrupt politicians

Oh, but the list is ENDLESS…here are but a few…

Silvio Berlusconi
George W. Bush
Col. Gaddaffi
Joseph Stalin
Benito Mussolini
Richard Nixon
Adolph Hitler
Augusto José Ramón Pinochet
Fidel Castro
Saddam Hussein
Robert Mugabe

  • Bolgia 6 – hypocrites

David Cameron
Nick Clegg
The Catholic Church (how can we “love our neighbours” AND hate on gays, women who have abortions, etc etc??)

  • Bolgia 7 – thieves

MPs, including:

Michael Gove
John Hutton
Margaret Moran
Paul White

Richard Madeley
Winona Ryder
Anthony Worrall-Thompson

  • Bolgia 8 – fraudulent advisors, false counselors

Lady Macbeth
Quickquid.co.uk (1734% APR is not an acceptable rate of interest…)

  • Bolgia 9 – sowers of discord

Jeremy Kyle
Big Brother
Simon Cowell
Anthony Worrall-Thompson (for setting up ‘Redwatch’, which basically just incites hatred against people who LEGALLY protest against fascist/racist groups, such as the BNP. I know he’s already in Bolgia 7, but I would quite happily put him in every single circle)

  • Bolgia 10 – falsifiers (alchemists, counterfeiters, perjurers, imposters)

 Isaac Newton
Albus Dumbledore
Those blokes who sell knock-off Louis Vuitton bags on Doncaster Market
Art Williams


Ninth Circle: Treachery

Tony Blair (for sending our own troops to their deaths in Iraq without any ACTUAL valid reason; for visiting Libya to secure an oil deal – and shake Gaddaffi’s hand – despite Libya’s links to the Lockerbie bombings in 1988 [yes I am a leftie, but Blair was not, no matter what he may profess])

Julian Assange

Elena Govrich (from Spooks series 10. I know she’s not “officially” real, but Spooks played a huge role in my life and I feel she should be on here as a token of my thanks to the BBC)

This is a work-in-progress. I’m going to add people to it periodically, so don’t get on my wrong side or you might end up with Satan.

Sarah x

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1 Comment

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One response to “Is Maggie Thatcher a modern-day Beatrice?

  1. HAHAHAHAH Just catching up on the Leeds Dante Diaries!xx

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